Saturday, March 6, 2010

EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR IN MARRIAGE: THE INTRODUCTION

CAUSES OF MARITAL AFFAIRS

1. Husband disappointment due to wife dominated in marriage

Nowadays, almost women is more effective than the men. Such as in terms of jobs, status in social, can leads in the family and others. Some wife can earn a high salary with her high education than husband. Then, the wife have power to lead and control the situation in family. This situation can lead the husband feel self-esteem with his ability to handle family problems. Self-esteem is a quite difficult issues to cope the breaking in this relationship because wife is more dominant in home and her career.

2. The dull marriage
The dull marriage is one of causes that why people having a extramarital affair. The dull marriage is likes a young pretty lady married with a old man. Mostly the old man is a rich business man. In this case, the rich old man have many things want to cover in his business. The business man more take care about his business, so all the time he just leave his young pretty wife in house. The young wife will feel dull and boring in this marriage. The young wife want a happy and joyful in her social because her husband more care about business than her and he just leave her in house in almost time. The young wife will easier to have extramarital affair with a young man.

3. Lack sense of fun and excitement in the marriage

A happy marriage must have sense of fun and excite in the couple to overcome infidelity. Some couple will give a lot of fun and excite to others before getting marriage. But after marriage, the couple will feel boring to give excite to each other because they have a lot of work to do. So, they do not have free time to give a surprise to others. The couple will feel boring to back to home. They prefer to find excite in outside likes bar, disco, and party. Maybe they can find a lover in this social. So, extramarital affair will occurs.

4.Curiosity

No matter men or women feel curiosity about infidelity. We all are human, sometimes we were feel bored in a same things. We want to try a new, fresh, and excite things to make our life more meaningful. In case of marriage, if we always faced a same person, we will fell boring and no interesting. They have a high desire to find a lover at outside and built another family. The beginning of extramarital affair is come of curiosity about another lover is compare with this own couple.

5. Unrealistic expectations about marriage

Almost women have unrealistic expectations thinking before marriage. Women have a lot of unrealistic thinking about her partners. They hope his partner can give her what her needs. Often this expectations cannot live up a long relationship when marriage. Women will thinks about her perfect partner can give a satisfied life with their unrealistic expectations. When her partner cannot give all the expectation to his wife, the wife will feel disappointed to her husband and get a marital affairs

6. Lack of commitment

A successfully marriage must takes a hard work for a long time. Many individuals have a problem to give commitment to spouse in many kind of problem because the different of education and social. Lack of communication in marriage can force one of them to have a marital affair. It is better for couple to open and be honest to each other. Lie and cheat must avoid to happen if someone want to save a marriage.

source: http://psychological_counselling.suite101.com/article.cfm/reason_for_extramarital_affairs
adapted by mee chee ^o^

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

EFFECT OF EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR


Extramarital affairs in marriages cause bitterness that are difficult to be forgiven.



DAMAGE SELF ESTEEM
Extramarital affairs injure married couples' self-esteem. One of them might ask themself, "Am I not adequate enough to fulfil his or her desire?".


DISTRUST
Extramarital affairs damage the trust between married couples. Lack of trust affects marriages.


SENSE OF INSTABILITY
Extramarital affairs shatter the sense of stability in marriages. Married couples would feel very insecure. They tend to be more protective, selfish and cold towards each other.


ROLLER-COASTER OF EMOTIONS
Extramarital affairs affects the emotion of married couples. The loss of trust and insecurity is bound to rock the marriage again and again. The bitter experience would be brought up everytime an argument occurs.


THE RIPPLE EFFECTS
Extra marital affairs can cause a ripple effects to married couples. The bitter experience would haunt them from time to time.


REMEDIES
There are a few tips to be considered to save a marriage after an extramarital affair.
1. Discuss the matter with your spouse
2. Bring in support groups such as friends and family members.
3. Seek professional advice from clergymen and counselors.



http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/infidelity/a/inf_effects.htm

PREPARED BY JC PUA